All We Ever Had
by tiivinen
Summary: "We are products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it." Finland and Estonia have been at the mercy of the great powers for most of their existence. This is a story about them, and the rest of the Baltic Finns. SuFin, EstFin. OCs.
1. The Prologue

The Prologue

Estonia stared the Baltic Sea. It was a windy day of early fall. Dark grey and heavy clouds painted the view with their own gloomy colours which the sea mirrored. Despite this, Estonia thought the scenery was very beautiful, in its own way. He wasn't one for eternal sunshine and still waters. Maybe he would've been, if not his struggles growing up. The waves of the sea danced a savage dance, made by the equally violent storm winds. Trees joined in this vehement play, their braches made to dance like it was some sort of a macabre puppet show.

Estonia took a deep breath. This was who he was. This was what he was alive for. The change. It had moulded him, tested him, made him stronger. It defined him to the very core. He was neither the strongest nation, nor the bravest. While he was smart, he also had to admit he wasn't the only intelligent one in the world. But he had his perseverance. An ability to withstand almost everything. He was a small nation in the world of giants, giants, who didn't give a thought to others but themselves. Giants, who had been, quite literally, out there to get him. Against all odds here he still was, still himself, if not missing a few pieces.

_Yes_, Estonia thought_, I am still here. I am still here, and I am going to get better_.

While the age of the giants might not be over – and truly it would probably never be – but at least his personal Goliath had fallen, and he hadn't fallen with it. The very air itself smelled sweeter than it did mere months ago, when he had still been in a fear of retribution. But now it was over, or rather a beginning, for Russia had signed his declaration of sovereignty.

With a certain amount of pure glee Estonia thought what this must mean for Russia, for Soviet Union. A simple act of signing was a significant message to the world; once a mighty, almost omnipotent force was actually just glass cannon, prone to shatter in a slightest struggle. Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania were at last free in the truest definition of the word.

_My brothers and I have a future again_, Estonia thought. It felt good, calling somebody a brother.

The Baltic nations, or the Baltic brothers, as they were known, were not perhaps true kin, but their bond was welded by the shared history and adversities they had faced together. They were made blood brothers of a sort, not because they had decided to slash their palms and to swear blood oaths, but because someone had shed their blood for them.

A slight drizzle interrupted his thoughts. The sky was grey as ever, but far out in the sea clouds had parted allowing in faint rays of sunshine. There, far in horizon, above the Gulf of Finland, was a rainbow. Estonia could not help but a smile at that. It was only appropriate that a rainbow would point across the gulf. He after all was very well aware that his pot of gold was in fact on the other side of the sea.

_Though Finland would probably punch me if he ever heard me call him 'a pot of gold'_, Estonia smirked.

His mirth was short-lived. Thinking about Finland always raised a dozen conflicting emotion in him. There was no doubt that he loved Finland, and he thought – or at least, had thought – that his love was returned in equal measure.

Fate had kept them apart, he had thought. Bests of friends since the beginning of their very existence, always together and enjoying each others company until powers greater than any of them tore them apart, only to be briefly brought back together by those same forces. Estonia did not have faith in many things – only a fool would have, with his past – but he had always had faith in knowing that this latest separation between them would come to an end in a one way or another.

So when he and his brothers had risen in defiance against Russia, he had excitingly invited Finland to Tallinn to share his pursuit of freedom and self-rule. But when Finland had come, it was not at all in the same manner when the Nordic nation had previously arrived to aid in Estonia's War of Independence decades past.

Finland had looked pale and stern, not at all like his usual kind self. He had sat in chair, not even saying 'hello' first and asked in serious voice: 'what are you doing Viro?' Estonia remembers that conversation vividly, how he had explained in a barely restrained voice of zeal how now would be his chance – their change – of getting rid a once so potent oppressor. He had asked for Finland's help. Finland had sat there, silent and serious, until he had only said: 'you must understand, now isn't the best time to rock the boat'.

And that was it. That was the extent of the help of his neighbour, of his best friend, of his lover. Estonia grimaced. Three years after, and a mere recollection of that particular memory made him physically sick to his stomach. He had begged help, and he was ignored by the person he had thought had loved him.

But despite all that, Estonia couldn't fault him too much. After all, it was Soviet Union he had gone against, and that was no small feat. It was just that he had thought that Finland was… better, he supposed.

Finland had always been stronger of the two, in both spirit and strength. Estonia had looked up to Finland, especially since the Nordic nation had managed to escape the fate that befell to Estonia. In the past, it had been him who had cowered while Finland had fought, and he had paid the price for that. And now it was time for him to fight, at last. He just always had imagined that in that moment he would have his best friend at his side.

Estonia could see his beloved face before him when he closed his eyes: his fair hair, his oddly coloured bilberry-blue eyes, his lovely smile and his tender gaze. He sighed and opened his eyes again. It was no-good to lose himself in images of someone he now knew he didn't have anymore.

Drizzle had turned into proper rain, but Estonia didn't mind, in fact it suited his mood rather well. The rainbow had also vanished, like a great symbol of his thoughts.

He and Finland were the same, had always been. Even back when the sea that separates them had truly been _their_ sea, when there still were other people in the world who he had truly called his kin – even then they had been the same.

_Finland would call it sisu_, he thought, and despite everything, that notion managed to bring a slim smile to his face.

They both had something others in their family did not have. Estonia had no noble word for it; he just knew both he and Finland never gave up, even when there was no chance of a good outcome. So many of their family were now dead, or worse. Estonia shuddered to think back the time when he had last visited Karelia. A once beautiful, cheerful, motherly nation had been driven mad by the centuries of war that had ravaged her lands. Her once glossy and curly auburn hair had turned into matted mess, her light green eyes looking quite dead.

After centuries of being pushed and pulled in variety of directions by strong nations – mainly Russia and Sweden – she was still being juggled between Finland and Russia as both owned a part of her lands. Estonia had seen her when he still lived in the same house with her. When she was with Russia, she was either catatonic or in fits of crazed rage, so Russia mostly kept her behind locked doors.

And while Estonia pitied her, he also knew nothing he could do would make her better. He had eventually stopped seeing her, just to save himself of the hurt and other raw, primal feelings those meeting would raise. Karelia's situation wasn't much better when she had to live with Finland. Finland had told Estonia that when she was with him, she mostly cried and madly begged again and again to be allowed 'to become one with Russia'.

Her fate was sad affair, and it made the fates of other people in Finnic family look better, even when most of them now were dead.

_What a depressing thought_, Estonia mused. But it was the truth. He wouldn't wish Karelia's condition to his worst enemy. He himself would rather be dead than insane.

He had been standing in the rain too long. He was soaked to his underwear and wind had started to affect him. At some point he had started shivering, but had not noticed, so immersed he had been in his thoughts. His apartment – thankfully – wasn't far.

A small trek later he got home. He undressed quickly, but did not find the energy to properly hang his clothes to dry. Usually he was a bit of a neat freak, but now he felt that rain had washed him of everything, drained him of his very self. He barely had energy to light fire in his fireplace before he dropped to the floor with a blanket wrapped tightly around him.

He felt odd. Too light and too heavy at the same time. This day should've been the culmination of his long struggle, a new beginning, yet all he could think about was the past. Finland and his brother Tavastia, Karelia and her sister Ingria, his own brother Livonia, and the lone wolf Vepsia. Faces of the long dead haunted him.

Karelia, in her prime had been a fierce protector and at the same time, a kind mother-like figure to them. She had loved them all, but most of all her little sister Ingria, who herself had been anything but a timid little creature needing of protecting.

Finland and Tavastia could've been identical twins, if it wasn't for their wildly different personalities. Estonia never had trouble to see which one was which, even if most people did. If not for anything else, the almost constant scowl on Tavastia's face was a dead giveaway.

Livonia, his big brother, on the other hand was the only one of the bunch who didn't raise any fond feelings, quite the opposite in fact. Livonia had been stronger, faster and wittier, and had never missed an opportunity to rub it in. He had turned his back to Estonia when his little brother needed him the most, being obsessed by his own might and influence without a thought to others. It made him powerful for awhile, but like the brightest candles often do, he had quickly burned himself out.

Then lastly there had been Vepsia, who Estonia had never known very well, who had never quite fit in. They had been mere children when he had died, but Estonia can still remember his curly golden hair and his round, freckled face.

_To die at a such young age_, Estonia mulled. And at the hands of the very man who was also responsible for much of Estonia's own troubles.

_Or all of them_, he thought grimly. Russia certainly was the great villain of the history of any Finnic nation. _Or any nation_, he concluded, though he knew it wasn't fair.

Russia had, in a bout of drunken confession years ago admitted how awful he felt about the deaths he had caused. It had truly boggled Estonia's mind at the time. He had always thought Russia's mad quest of conquering the world would de facto result in a death of all other nations of the world, perhaps excluding his sisters. But that did not seem to be the case, which in Estonia's mind made Russia even crazier than what he previously thought to be the case.

Russia had been quite shaken by the deaths of Ingria and Vepsia, and the madness of Karelia. He had even sung an old and doleful Russian folk song that told about the deaths of Baltic Finns at the hands of his people. Estonia had listened, patiently, and when the morning had came, he tactfully and wisely appeared to forget the night before had ever happened. So had Russia.

He shivered, hoping he wouldn't catch a cold from standing too long in the rain. This was the night of his triumph, and there he was, pathetically lying on the floor, remembering things that should've been forgotten long ago. He knew all this, but still he couldn't let it go. The past was there with him, whispering in his ears about regrets and sorrows.

But if he couldn't tune it out, he could at least tone it down. Estonia sat up, opened a cupboard and took out a bottle of vodka.

_There goes that promise,_ he thought. He had indeed promised to himself that he would stop drinking, since there would be no time to sit around being foggy-minded when there was simply so much to _do_. He knew much of Europe expected him to be ecstatic of his newly found freedom – hell, _he_ had thought he'd be jumping with joy. Instead, he felt old beyond his years and weary to the bone.

_But things will get better_, he promised to himself, _this night might belong to the past, but tomorrow will be future's!_

* * *

A.N. A bit depressing start, I admit. But I thought it was better to set the tone of this story in this way. The fates of the Baltic Finns may also be quite bleak, but that's history for you. The first chapter will really start the story, and the rest of the chapters will continue in the cronological order.

No, I didn't make up the Russian folklore about the Baltic Finns: en . wikipedia wiki / Chud#Chudes_in_folklore

Oh, and this is my first fanfic ever, and it's not in my native language, so please, criticism is welcome, whether it is about the story itself, or my grammar.


	2. Chapter 1 - In the Beginning

Chapter One – In the Beginning

He did not know when he had been born – or whether or not he had actually been _born _at all – but he remembers wandering the land, feeling it, breathing it. The memories of those very early days were a bit hazy, but he remembers the feeling of being one with the land, animals taking care of him, giving him food and shelter, anything he needed to survive. He also very faintly remembers warmth and a feeling of being loved, the kind, motherly words of encouragement and a soft embrace – though he isn't quite sure if this memory was real, or something he made up in his loneliness.

He still remembers the loneliness. It had saturated his every thought, his every action. When he had snuggled down with a bear in its winter nest, belly full of berries and fish, ready for hibernation with his furry friend like he did every winter, there had been the same odd feeling in the back of his mind that had been bothering him for some time now. A hunger no amount of food would ease, a weariness that would not go away with rest. He had been hollow inside, missing something important – yet at the time he had no idea what that something could be.

After a month or two his rest had come to a rude awakening. His home for the winter had been attacked. It had been in the middle in the winter, too early for him to be up, when the ceiling of nest had been ripped open. The bear had been killed instantly, too groggy to put up a proper fight. He had sat in the nest, drenched in the blood of his now dead animal companion, looking up in terror at this new threat.

He had seen beings so much like himself. Oddly, after that he had not been afraid, despite of what they had done to his poor bear friend. The Smelly Breath Honey-Paw had been an old bear, a mother of eight fine cubs in the past, now all grown up. He had seen death before to know that it was a rule of the nature for the old ones to make way for the new generation.

The hunters on the other hand, had been terrified. They had after all found a strange child in the bear's nest, a child that did not cry or scream, or even look frightened. Half of the group wanted to kill him at once, while others said they should just leave both the boy and the dead bear there, and run away as fast as possible. But the leader of the hunting group had been adamant: the child was a gift from the ancestors, the spirits that now walked the earth in the form of a bear.

And so the blond boy had been taken to live with people. He had been given a name, Tenho, because the tribe found him to be a rather appealing child, always smiling and ready to laugh. For the first time since he could remember, Tenho hadn't felt lonely.

But it did not last. He had soon realised that he was different from the people who took care of him. They grew up while he stayed young. They had children of their own, grew old and died, while he lived on, same as ever.

The people, _his_ people, had realised this before him. When he had asked them about this, they had explained to him that everything in this world had a spirit, a core, which they called _haltija_s. Haltija was a guardian spirit, a soul – or sometimes a simply an inner power of a being. The oldest and most powerful of these spirits were considered gods, rulers of the other haltijas. The lesser haltijas were known as _väki_, meaning both the spirit folk and their power that could be commanded through rune singing. His people had told him that like there were haltijas of the sea, the ground and the forest, there also must be a haltija of the land and people.

Tenho had at first doubted this. Wouldn't he know if he was a haltija? But after a while he had realised that as much as he was this land his people called Suomi, he also was everything else the land contained, including the people living there. When they had starved, he also had fallen ill. And when they had started to flourish, he had at last grown taller and older. He had had to accept his fate: he more than just Tenho, he was a guardian and a soul of this land. He truly was Suomi.

* * *

This newly found knowledge did not satisfy Finland. On the contrary, it made him yet again feel the old hollowness deep inside him. He felt like there was something else in this world, something he couldn't see or feel, but still could sense and yearn. It made him anxious and nervous, and he couldn't even take consolidation in the fact that his people were thriving. They were cultivating the land and raising livestock, growing enough food to feed everybody, and then some.

Finland knew there were other people in the world besides his tribe. He had seen others come to his land, and he knew his own people sometimes travelled to trade. But when a group of traders from the south had come to make business as usual, he sensed something both foreign and familiar. Amidst of older men stood a child. Somehow Finland could feel with his every sense that the child was not like others.

The boy turned around, like he too had sensed something off. Their eyes locked, bilberry blue eyes met forest green, both as wide as possible. Like in dream they both hurried to meet each other, but when they were at arms length away, both suddenly stopped. Finland was unexpectedly feeling very nervous, like his continued existence was dependent on if the other boy liked him or not. He had never felt like that before.

"Hello. I'm Suomi, but you can call me Tenho", Finland said, extending his arm in greeting.

The other boy winced, like he had something very odd.

"You gave me your birth name?" boy asked, his speech sounding very odd to Finland, like he was deliberately shortening his words, making him hard to understand. Finland had no idea what a birth name was, and he told that to the other boy.

"You aren't supposed to tell your birth name to others, they can command you with them! And you're a haldja like me, aren't you?"

"I suppose so…" Finland answered, now feeling quite timid.

"Haldjas of the land aren't supposed to tell their birth name to _anyone_. A skilled singer can ruin your whole tribe through you!"

Now Finland was feeling very scared. He couldn't believe nobody had told him that before. His people could be destroyed, just because he had been overjoyed to meet someone like himself. The other boy saw his obvious distress, and tried to console him: "Don't worry, I didn't mean to scare you! I would never do that to you, I swear! I'm Virumaa".

"You're Viro, of the south?" Finland said, trying to be polite, but stilll really shaken about what the other land had said.

"Yes, that's what your people call me, like mine call you Soome. And I really didn't mean to scare you! …Tell you what, I'll tell you my birth name in return, so then we know both of our names, and promise to never use them in spells against each other."

The green-eyed boy now seemed nervous too. Finland just nodded, a bit faintly.

"My birth name is Ehtua", Estonia said.

"Nice to meet you", Finland said with a faint smile, feeling much better. He had a hunch they would become good friends.

* * *

As the time went by, Finland met others like him. He had wandered the land in the east of him, meeting a boy who insisted that they must be brothers, since they looked so very similar in appearance. Finland didn't know if he quite felt the same, but the other was so sure of himself that in time, Finland too accepted it as the truth.

The more haltijas – or lands, as some of them called themselves – he met, the happier he felt. The old hollowness inside him slowly subsided until he could no longer feel it at all. But no matter who he met, or how much he liked them, none was as dear to him as his first friend, Estonia.

* * *

A.N. If you're a bit confused by the names, I can assure you there's a reason why they're different from the original ones. "Tino" and "Eduard" aren't very Finnish or Estonian, so in my story both of them had different names in the beginning. When their lands were taken over, also their names changed, Tenho becoming Tino, and Ehtua Eduard. (Tenho means "Allure" in Finnish, Ehtua is based on the Finnish and Estonian words "ehta" and "ehtne" both meaning genuine)

In the same way Estonia says his name is Virumaa instead Eesti (Eesti as a word being of foreign origin. No, Virumaa isn't the original name for Estonia, but a name for one of its counties. I just thought this might explain why Finland still calls him "Viro" instead of "Eesti")

"Words of creation" or "birth names" (= syntysanat in Finnish) is a real concept in the Finnic mythology: if you know how something came to be, you can also control it by explaining its origins to it ("it" being animals, or minerals, or people). Sorry about all the mythology stuff.


	3. Chapter 2 - Happiness is only real if sh

Chapter Two – Happiness Is Only Real If Shared

A content sigh escaped Estonia's lips. It was a perfect summer day. A sun was shining and the meadow he was lying on was full of wild flowers. He could smell a variety of pleasant scents. His people were also thriving, making him feel like he was a health personified. He felt warm and relaxed, his belly full of wild berries he had found earlier in the forest.

Finland was lying beside him, their heads almost touching. Estonia idly petted the grass, considering how Finland would react if he reached for his hand. It was right there, he knew, just a few centimetres away. Slowly he let his hand feel around in the vegetation, creeping closer to the place he thought Finland's hand would be. After all, if the other boy did pull his hand away, Estonia could always say it was just a silly mishap, right?

"I saw him again", Finland suddenly said, making Estonia's hand stand still.

"Who?" He asked a bit absent-mindedly.

"That tall land, Ruotsi."

Estonia pulled back his hand, the conversation abruptly making him decide against his earlier plan. He frowned and turned his head to look at Finland.

"He's snooping around our gulf again?"

"I wouldn't call it snooping… but he did seemed to be looking for something, yes. 'Scouting' would probably be a better word for it."

Estonia did not like what he heard. He hadn't liked Sweden much when he had met the other land, a few years back. Their people had already been trading with each other for a good while before, but only recently had Sweden begun to accompany his traders with their travels. When Estonia had met the other land, he had found him alarming, to say the least. Sweden had been only a bit older than Estonia, but his height had already been almost that of a fully grown man. It wasn't his frame that had distressed Estonia, though. It was his rather taciturn manner. His face gave nothing away, expression frozen in place like an unreadable mask. Estonia had found it very hard to meet the icy blue-green eyes of the other land.

Sweden had greeted him with a grunt and a nod, introduced himself with a grunt that had sounded like 'Svehlahd' to Estonia, and shortly after that, he had simply left. The whole discussion – if it really could be called that when it had mostly relied on one-sided vague sounds and pointing – had left Estonia feeling utterly uneasy and bemused. His feelings had only intensified when he had later learned that the tall land had also met Livonia, his brother, in a similar fashion.

"You didn't show yourself, did you?" Estonia asked, now a bit afraid of the answer.

"No… well not exactly."

"Not exactly? What does that mean, Soome?"

Finland hesitated for a while, making Estonia kind of anxious. Finland had turned on his side, half sitting now. But he still wasn't looking at his friend, his hands nervously pulling the weeds, much like Estonia had done earlier.

"I didn't want him to see me", Finland started at last, his voice low and soft, "but I was curious, too. I thought I could sneak in close, get a better look at him, and get away… But he seemed to… I don't know, to _sense_ me".

At that, Finland raised his head to look Estonia properly in the eyes.

"He somehow _knew_ I was there, though I didn't make a sound, I swear! You know how silent I can be, Viro."

And that Estonia knew very well, in fact. Finland was very good at moving like a ghost through the forest. They all were, but Finland was undoubtedly the best one of them all. But Estonia was also aware of the pull they sometimes felt, especially when being around with the others of their kind. It had after all been that very pull that had guided Estonia to the north, to the place where he had met Finland. They _were_ lands, as much they were separated beings. Everything that went on around them, they felt, more or less.

"You didn't think that if you could sense him, he could probably feel your presence as well?" Estonia asked with a sigh.

Now Finland looked very sheepish. He clearly hadn't. Estonia swallowed his groan. Finland was a very dear friend, but sometimes he could be infuriatingly naïve.

"So he saw you?" Estonia pressed on, wanting to hear Finland say it.

"Yeah… He saw me."

"And? Then what happened?"

"What do think happened? I didn't exactly stay there and chat, now did I? I ran away of course, as quickly as I could. He tried to chase me, but he wasn't very quick, or agile. It was easy to lose him in the woods."

_That's something, at the least_, Estonia thought. Now that Sweden was aware of Finland, though, it wouldn't be very difficult to track him down, if the other land so wished. And Sweden hardly seemed like a type that would just let things be.

"Why are you so quiet? Are you mad at me?"

Estonia pushed his thoughts away. Finland had sat all the way up, and his hands were wringing around his wrists fretfully. His eyes were wide and timid, almost hidden by the curtain of his wild fair hair.

Estonia's heart melted at the scene. Yes, Finland might sometimes be both incredibly foolhardy, as well as maddeningly naïve, but that also made him _him_. He was a gentle soul, kind-hearted and always ready to help others to the best of his ability. But he rarely paused to think about the possible repercussions of his actions.

_And that's why we make a such a good team_, Estonia thought fondly_, he's the doer, and I'm the thinker in our little duo._

Estonia sat up, too. He reached for Finland's hands to stop their nervous movement, gently tugging them to release the grip the other land had over his own wrists. Finland let go, and Estonia wasted no time to take hold of his hands.

"I'm not mad, not at all… I couldn't be mad at you", Estonia said, smiling warmly at his friend. The fluster of Finland seemed to melt away with these words, and he returned Estonia's smile with one of his own.

"But you got to be more careful, in the future. Not every strange land has your best in mind, right?" he continued, sounding slightly more serious despite his unbroken smile.

"I promise, Viro", Finland vowed, he too sounding sincere even with his happy look.

And even though his perfect day had been interrupted by the worry over his dearest friend, now that Estonia sat there, holding hands and smiling with Finland, he couldn't think a way it could be made better. And just as that thought crossed his mind, he did in fact, come up a way to make things even better.

Before he could really think it over and question his plan, Estonia just decided to go for it, and leaned forward to plant a kiss on Finland's plump lips. It lasted only for a moment, being more like a peck than a real kiss, but it had lingered enough for Estonia to feel the softness and warmth of his friend's lips under his own.

Finland on the other hand, was clearly stunned. A flush had crept on his face to accompany his wide eyes and the surprised o-shape of his mouth. To Estonia he looked innocent and endearing, and absolutely beautiful. The soft blush on his friend's cheeks made him want to steal another kiss before Finland woke up from his stupor. A lightning quick decision later, he leaned in to do just that.

"You're going to kiss him _again_?"

Estonia jumped away in surprise. Both boys turned towards the sound at the edge of the clearing.

"Inkeri! This meant 'we should go away quietly!'" a tall red haired girl yelled to a younger blonde one, waving her hand in wild, jerky gesture.

The shorter girl, Ingria, just rolled her eyes.

"Don't you roll your eyes at me!"

"Whatever Karjala, stop acting like you're my mom, you're only a bit older than me."

Karelia huffed in indignation, and murmured: "I'll remember that the next time you want to sleep in the same bed with me because of a bad dream or a scary storm".

"Shut it, shut it!" Ingria hissed, turning back to the boys to see if they had heard what her sister had said. Karelia's expression changed, too. The annoyed look gave way for the wide, if a bit forced smile. She grabbed Ingria's hand, and started tugging her in attempt to flee the awkward scene.

"Don't mind us at all, really, go right back doing your thing, what ever it is…" she babbled while dragging the clearly uncooperative Ingria behind her towards the woods, "we'll tell the others you've something more pressing to do… We'll just go back to the camp now".

"No, wait!" Finland shouted, quickly standing up and taking a few steps away from Estonia "I'll go with you!"

Estonia felt crushed. Had the kiss been so horrible to the other land, that he rather fled with the two girls than walk back with Estonia, his best friend?

"What, really?" Karelia asked in disbelief. "You wouldn't rather stay here to…?"

At that, she did a little motion with her finger between the two boys, then seemed to realise it was highly inappropriate giving the circumstance. She turned as red as her wild, frizzy hair.

Finland blushed slightly too, but laughed it off and walked past the two young girls, towards the edge of the clearing. Ingria and Karelia took the hint; the matter wouldn't be discussed any further, and especially Karelia seemed to be kind of relieved. They both followed Finland.

Estonia felt light-headed, even though his feet felt heavy, like they were trapped in a deep bog, and his heart seemed to work over time. There he was, watching his friend hurrying to get away from him, trying to get as much distance between them as possible.

_I shouldn't have done it, I knew it was stupid_, Estonia lashed at himself, blaming himself, like he should have seen it coming.

Now Finland was walking away, and he had probably ruined their friendship for forever, just because he had felt the need to touch, to hold hands, to kiss… To do the things he had seen the grown-ups of his people doing. They might be just children physically, but they had lived for far longer than the oldest humans alive, seeing all kinds if human behaviour. It had made Estonia curious.

And his curiosity had made Finland flee, instead of making them closer to one another. Estonia let his shoulders slump, feeling overwhelmed by his thoughts. He watched as Finland walked away without hesitation. The blond boy walked straight to the forest's edge, and then paused to wait up. Karelia and Ingria reached him, and he smiled back at them. And then Finland raised his head towards Estonia. He seemed puzzled.

"Why are you still there? Aren't you coming back with us?" Finland yelled at Estonia over the clearing.

It was simple question really, but to Estonia, it was like he could breathe again after being submerged for too long. No, nothing was ruined, lest of their friendship.

"I'm coming, just wait a bit", Estonia shouted back, and ran to Finland with a brilliant smile on his face.

Finland smiled back at him. And if the smile and the situation were both little awkward, Estonia didn't care at all. His earlier thoughts were now a tad silly to him, even a complete overreaction on his part, one might argue. But he didn't care. All was well, or would be.

"Let's go back, I'm sure Liivi and Vepsä are missing us already", Finland said, turning his back to the meadow again and starting to walk back home.

Estonia huffed. It was very unlikely that Livonia or Vepsia had missed them. If anything, it was rather a gross overstatement, since one of them could be happy if he never met anybody again, and the other was so utterly self-absorbed that he probably hadn't even noticed they had been gone. But Estonia didn't feel the need to correct the other land; he was just too happy they were still friends despite all what had happened earlier.

"Lead on!" he said and followed Finland and the girls to the woods.

* * *

The perfect day had been followed by a very nearly perfect evening. Estonia, Finland, Ingria and Karelia had walked back to the Finland's little cottage, and like Estonia had suspected, Vepsia and Livonia hadn't exactly been worried about them.

Livonia had been dozing on the haystack next to Finland's hut, basking in the sun like big lazy cat, a content little smirk on his handsome face. He had barely noticed their return, ignoring them in favour of a slight stretch of his limbs before falling asleep again. Estonia sighed. Livonia was the laziest person he had ever met, and if there was any justice in the world, also the only lazy and cheeky oaf he would ever meet in his life.

Unfortunately for Estonia, Livonia and he were neighbours, and even more importantly, they were family. Not that Livonia was ultimately a bad person, no. He was fun loving and charming, witty, and even clever if needed, but he didn't take any matter seriously.

He was also unpredictable and highly unreliable. In an inhospitable northern part of Europe – where everyday life was a struggle against the forces of nature – the word was sometimes the only thing a man got in his name, and as such, it was not something taken lightly. A man not worth of his word was not respected. But Livonia commanded respect, not by his actions, but by his charismatic nature.

Livonia let out a little content simper in his sleep. His wavy light brown hair had spread like a strange halo around his head, making him oddly attractive even in the middle of an afternoon nap. Ingria and Karelia couldn't help but giggle at him.

Estonia rolled his eyes. Estonia had known Livonia the longest, and he wasn't fooled by his antics. The annoying twerp was most likely already wide awake and only putting on this show for the sake of his little fans, Karelia and Ingria. And Finland, by the looks of it, since he too was looking and smiling at Livonia fondly.

Vepsia on the other hand, was nowhere to be seen. It wasn't anything weird though, for the land had always been kind of a loner. Even in the midst of their meetings he would every now and then just abruptly disappear without a word, sometimes for an hour or a two, sometimes for days. Not that his presence had any effect one way or another, for even the times he was there he hardly spoke a word.

They had quickly started doing the preparations for evening: making food, gathering firewood and such. It came apparent to Estonia why Livonia was doing the act of fake sleep: it was simply for avoiding work. And he wasn't the only one. Not only was Livonia asleep, but both Vepsia and Tavastia were missing all the work. Tavastia hadn't arrived yet, and he probably wouldn't come for a few hours. Tavastia was in a habit of arriving late, always managing to miss out the preparation work for their celebrations.

It irritated Estonia greatly, but since the others didn't seem to be bothered by it, he decided to let things go. Though in the back in his mind he made a promise to himself that he would at least try to make Livonia, Vepsia and Tavastia work extra hard the next time they would gather in his place.

Vepsia came back just as they had finished most of their work. Estonia's irritation at him melted away when he realised the other land did not return empty handed. He carried several fishes with him, most of them perches, but there was a couple of breams as well, and a one respectable-sized pike. The other nation had even gutted the fish.

Karelia especially was excited, since pike was her favourite. She loudly thanked Vepsia repeatedly and hugged him before taking the fish. Vepsia blushed beet-red and managed a slight smile, seemingly very pleased at the attention, even if a bit overwhelmed by it.

Livonia, on the other hand, had had enough of his ruse, and made a big show of waking up with a big yawn. He even made comment how it was impossible to rest when the others insisted making such a racket. Estonia almost burst out laughing at that. Yes, few people talking woke him up when he apparently hadn't been bothered when Estonia and Finland had been throwing big braches around to form a bonfire – a very credible claim indeed.

An hour or two later, when they were just about to start their feast, Tavastia finally arrived. Finland let out a shriek of pure joy and run off to meet him, and even Estonia was glad to see him, despite his earlier exasperation. They didn't have time or means to meet that often, and it was always a real threat that some of them would be unable to come, usually because of illnesses or raids.

As it were, it truly was a night to remember. They ate and drank until they could no more, and just as sun begun to set they lit up their bonfire, gathering around it with mead-drinks in hand, singing about old legends and telling funny stories about the antics of their people. Estonia couldn't even remember the last time he had so much fun!

The bonfire lasted hours, and so did their celebration. Even Livonia was willing to pick some wood and throw more branches into the fire to keep it from dying. It was well after the midnight when they finally started to get sleepy, and were just content to lying on the simple reed pads, basking on the warmth of the fire and listening Karelias beautiful singing voice telling them the well-known myth of creation of the world.

If something in this world was truly Finnic, it was singing. Rune singing was the basis and the common ground of their cultures. To a Baltic Finn, singing wasn't just a collection of nice sounds, no. Rune singing was everything from a simple entertainment to a serious education of history and legends, from the words of encouragement to the battle cries, from a plea to the spirits and ancestors to the powerful commandment of forces of the nature and the supernatural. It could sooth a weepy child, treat ailments both big and small, calm the sea and the spirits, or it could even aggravate them, if need be.

Even Vepsia, who usually was too anxious to speak – let alone to sing – still liked to listen, and when it was Karelia's turn to sing, he was typically the one shushing everybody.

Even if they all were good singers, it was Karelia who truly had an exceptional voice. When she sang, even the wild life would gather to listen. And now when they all were happily full and tired, it was her voice that guided them to sleep, one by one. Ingria was first to nod off, being the youngest, and the least accustomed to staying up late, but she certainly wasn't the last. Oddly enough, Livonia was the second to fall asleep, despite allegedly sleeping through the whole day.

But Estonia didn't want to fall asleep, even though his lids felt heavy and his thoughts muddled. He glanced left to see if Finland was still up. He was, though he too looked like it wouldn't be so for long. Estonia gently nudged his arm with his leg to get his attention, and when Finland raised his bleary gaze, he whispered: "want to go swimming?" His whisper was barely audible through Livonia's loud snores and Ingria's little sleepy mutterings, but Finland still seemed to get the gist of it, since his eyes grow big and excited, and he nodded.

They both stood up and left, careful of waking the others. The path to the river was easily seen in the moonlight despite the darkness of the late summer night. The air was unusually warm for the night as well, making the weather perfect for the late night dip in the water.

Afterwards they lay on the river bank side by side, looking at the stars and listening at the chirps of the crickets. Somewhere in the distance a lone cuckoo made its distinct call.

"I counted 27 cuckoos. Do you reckon that's the amount of years it takes one of us to get married, or the amount of years we have left to live?" Estonia teased, making fun of the old belief some of their people had about cuckoo's calls.

"Definitely the years we have left", Finland joked back, "it's a one cruel bird after all".

They looked at each other, both having mirth in their eyes, and in their tired state, they couldn't help but burst into laughing. The sudden loud sound scared a partridge into flight from the tall hay just a few meters away from them. The frightened and shrill calls of the bird made them laugh even harder.

It took them a while to calm down, but eventually they did. The night was yet again silent and tranquil. Above them, the Milky Way crossed the sky, bright even among the other stars.

"Finland?" Estonia whispered, now suddenly unwilling to break the peacefulness of the night.

"Hmm?"

"About today… earlier I mean, when I… kissed you… You didn't mind?"

"Mind?" Finland said, sounding perplexed. "Why would I mind it? We're friends. You can kiss me if you like…"

"I mean, it was a kind of nice, even if a bit surprising…" Finland continued, now sounding a little shy and unsure. "I mean, it was the first time anyone kissed me, so…"

"Really? Like ever?"

"Yes, really."

"Not even by your people? Pecks on cheeks or something?"

"No, not really… I mean, they were really scared of me in the beginning, you know? They found me from a winter nest of a bear when I was a lot younger. I wasn't scared though, I somehow _sensed_ it was meant to happen, me meeting them. Just like I knew no animal would ever hurt me, or that the land wouldn't starve me.

"But to them, I was a _haltija _of the land and people. Some of them feared me, but on the same time also respected me, giving me anything I could ever hope to ask.

"But on the other hand, they didn't really treat me like a child, you know? And I get that, I do, since they lived their lives while I stayed the same. A child, but not really…" He ended his tale on a wishful note, sounding a tad mournful.

"Soome…" Estonia whispered and gently laid his hand on the other boy's arm. He had never heard Finland speaking about the time when they didn't yet know each other. He had always just assumed Finland's childhood had been similar to his own. He too had wandered the wild, though to him it hadn't been such a certainty that no animal would mean him any harm. Then again, Finland always had had a way with the wildlife.

When Estonia had been found by the people, he at first had been raised like a human would've been, although his caretakers had soon realised that their adoptive son wasn't exactly what could in any way be called a normal boy. They too had guessed that he must be a _haldja_, a guardian spirit or protector of a place or people, or like in their special case, both really.

After that, it had become an honourable job for high-ranking folks to look after him until he was old enough to live on his own. In his childhood, there hadn't been a lack of cuddles or kisses, or anything a child would want. He knew it was partly because his people believed that a happy _haldja_ would bring wealth and good luck to his people, and badly treated one could ruin the whole tribe.

But he didn't mind, after all, he had felt loved, and that was all that had mattered back then. But to hear that Finland's experience hadn't been the same, although he hadn't been mistreated… It made Estonia feel pity for his friend. He moved his along Finland's arms until he felt his hand, and then he took a hold of his hand intertwining their fingers.

"Soome, I'm so sorry…" Estonia said while squeezing his hand to show his support.

"It doesn't matter, Viro. Not anymore. It's ancient history, and besides, I have you and Häme, and the rest of our family now, right?" Finland said turned to look at his friend, smiling so brightly that Estonia felt it could light up the whole field.

"Yes you do, you have us… You'll have _me_ for the rest of your life, I promise", Estonia vowed back in a low voice.

Finland didn't answer, but he squeezed Estonia's hand back, his expression so full of gratitude that no amount of words could've conveyed more clearly how he felt. For a moment they just looked at each other in silence.

"I wish…" Estonia whispered, but stopped. He felt a bit silly to voice his thoughts after such a serious conversation. But Finland was having none of that.

"Tell me, please?"

"I wish things could stay like this for ever. Us, being together."

Finland smiled gently, and whispered back in a barely audible voice: "Me too, Viro, me too".

Nothing more needed to be said, and they both turned their eyes back to the sky that had already started to slowly lighten. Finland scooted closer for warmth, and Estonia wrapped both of them in a blanket he had luckily decided to take with them earlier.

Estonia felt Finland's forehead touching his temple, the other being so close he could hear his peaceful and rhythmic breath. At that moment, Estonia thought everything to be so perfect he wouldn't have minded if the time itself froze so this moment could last for an eternity.

But life's little perfect moments were always fleeting in nature, and it wasn't for long before the sleep claimed them both.

* * *

A.N. The purpose of this chaper is to paint a rosy picture of Finland's and Estonia's lives before Scandinavians started traveling and before Russia arrived on the shores of the Baltic Sea (not that real life ever was that rosy, but for the sake of this story, let's pretend, shall we? :D)

Sweden will make an appearance in the next chapter. DUN-DUN-DUN!

Oh, and if it wasn't clear, Inkeri = Ingria, Karjala = Karelia, Liivi = Livonia, Vepsä = Vepsia, Häme = Tavastia.


	4. Chapter 3 - Meeting and changes

Chapter Three – Meetings and changes

Finland stood between the trees, utterly still. Sweden and his people were yet again camping on his shores, resting for the night. The other land had been doing this a lot lately. He travelled to the east, all the way to Vepsia's land and even farther. Finland wasn't sure why. He had never been that far away from home, nor had he any reason or desire to do so.

But he had come to see Sweden every time he felt the other was near. Finland had kept his distance, though, since the incident some years ago when he had been almost caught. He didn't know why he was so enthralled by the tall land. He certainly had no reason to be.

The Swedes were common sight on his land. Most of the time they were harmless, trading with Finland's people or camping for a few days before carrying on with their sea travel. But the other times, they were just pure trouble.

Raiding of course wasn't just Swedish specialty, no. It was common enough in the Baltic Sea that most tribes had a warning system in place. In case of pillagers, a series of huge fires would be lit, to warn the neighbours about the danger. The neighbours in turn would light their own fires to send out the message. Ideally, the whole coast would know about the threat just in few hours.

Recently the Swedes had been more interested in trading. They would buy all the animal pelts and furs they possibly could, and they even paid a good price for them. Some of his own people who had travelled with the Swedes to the east claimed they changed the furs for goods and trinkets so miraculous, it was almost impossible to belief. But they all had been forced to believe, since those very same people had returned home richer, carrying beautifully crafted weapons and shining jewellery.

But it was not the promise of riches that made Sweden so interesting to Finland. Even if he had no real idea why, Finland felt a kind of compulsion deep in his soul that made him seek out the other land. The warnings of Estonia and his own people had made him stay at the safe distance, though.

It was beginning to get dark, and Finland knew it was time to go home. The Swedish camp had quieted a while back too. He had stayed longer than normal, just for a glimpse of the other land, but in the end, it had been in vain. Sweden was close, which Finland could feel in his gut, but for some reason, he must have stayed in the long ship.

Finland turned around, only to get a shock of a lifetime.

"Yer here again" Sweden said in a hoarse voice. He was standing only a little distance away from Finland.

How he had gotten there without Finland finding out was a mystery. Finland not only had an excellent hearing, but he should have _felt_ the other land approaching long before getting this close. Finland skimmed his surroundings in one glance in search of an escape route.

"No, don't go", Sweden gasped, apparently guessing the intent of the other land. Finland stopped looking around.

_Just as well_, Finland thought. There weren't really a possibility for an escape anyway. He had chosen his lookout for the view of the camp, not for the quick exit. Since Sweden had managed to sneak behind him, there wasn't much he could do. Behind him was a steep fall which he wasn't willing to risk just to get away.

"What's yer name?" Sweden asked as it came evident that Finland wasn't about to flee.

"Suomi", Finland answered, thinking it was best to comply. But Sweden frowned.

"No, didn't mean that. I know yer Finland, heard it from yer people. I wanna know yer real name. Mine's Berwald."

Finland didn't answer. The old conversation with Estonia haunted his mind. _Never tell your birth name._ He didn't want to. Finland wasn't so sure it could do as much harm as some of his people believed, but then again, why risk it, since it was so simple to merely hold one's tongue?

But it wasn't easy, when a land so much bigger than him was demanding an answer.

"Ya don't have a name?"

Finland shook his head, and immediately regretted it. He should have just lied! His silence made Sweden frown deepen, and the other land took a step closer. Finland almost stepped back before he remembered that there wasn't any room to retreat. But the slowly approaching hulking form of the other land did not stop, and the expression his face wasn't exactly pleasant either.

Suddenly Finland realised what an idiot he had been; everybody had warned him against coming here alone, but had he listened? Now here he was, alone with a land he did not know, who was not only taller, bigger and older than him, but had a group of his countrymen only a yelling distance away.

So when Sweden took one more step closer to him, Finland decided it was better just to yelp out his name. Sweden paused.

"Tino?" Sweden asked, looking for confirmation that he got it right.

Finland nodded. It wasn't even close, but it didn't matter. He hadn't wanted the other land to know his name in the first place, so it was better for him if Sweden thought it was this… 'Tino' instead of his real name.

"I'm Berwald. Can ya say it? Berwald" Sweden said, trying to pronounce his name carefully and clearly.

Finland stared at him, completely bemused. The other land was speaking to him like one would speak to a young child. Granted, Finland was obviously younger than Sweden, and since he also was kind of small for his age, it was easy to mistake him to be even younger than he really was. But he wasn't _five_! Of course he could say a damn _name_ if he wanted! …But only if he wanted: Finland had no aspiration to do so.

Sweden was looking at him expectedly. Finland thought it best to just play stupid, and he shook his head again.

"Oh", Sweden mumbled, looking a tad disappointed. "M'people call me Svealand."

Finland nodded. He had heard the name before, even knew its meaning: 'land of Swedes'. Sweden didn't look satisfied at his gesture, though, so he obliged and repeated it aloud: "Sveehlahnd".

He didn't pronounce it right, that much he could hear himself, but it didn't seem to matter; Sweden nodded and the corners of his mouth turned a bit upwards. Finland thought it was meant to be smile, but in reality it looked a bit more like a grimace. He forced himself to smile too, just in case.

But the slight 'smile' on the other land's face vanished just as quickly as it had appeared. Sweden stood tall, his frame that of a fully grown man, even if he wasn't. He was wearing a thick wolf fur mantle which made him appear even taller and bigger than usually.

Without really meaning to, Finland glanced at his waist. An ornamented scabbard hanged on his belt. He couldn't see the blade, but the pommel was visible, and it was enough. Finland recognised the sword as a ring-hilt spatha. Anyone carrying a sword that valuable could most certainly use it, too.

Finland felt how he broke out in a cold sweat. All he had was his _puukko_. A trusted weapon, sure, but how useful it would be against an experienced swordsman? The worst thing was that he couldn't read anything out of the other land's expression. Sweden's face could have been carved out of ice, for all the good it did.

They stared at each other for a good while. Just as Finland was about lose his nerve, and do something risky by attempting to flee, Sweden turned to look at his camp site.

"I'll find ya after m'trip" Sweden said, and turned to leave. He disappeared in to the dark woods quietly like the animal whose furs he was wearing.

Finland didn't lose a second and bolted in the forest, in the opposite direction of where the taller land had gone. He ran in the dark forest until he was absolutely sure no one could have followed him, and then he ran a bit more, just in case. When he reached a familiar pond he knew was quite near to his house, he at last stopped running and sat down on the ground.

In the darkness of the night he could only hear his own gasping breath and his loudly thumping heart. The run had calmed him slightly, but it hadn't completely soothed his fears. And frankly, he wasn't sure if he was more relieved to be out of the sight of Sweden, or more frightened of his promise… Or had it been a threat?

* * *

In the end, Finland had nothing to fear. The spring had turned into a summer, and the summer gave way to the fall. When the first snow fell, Finland had all but forgotten about Sweden, and his promise.

It wasn't until next spring, when he saw Sweden the second time. Finland was chopping firewood on his yard, taking advantage of a surprisingly warm day of an early spring. He had been cooped inside long enough during past few weeks, when the weather had been rainy and unpleasant.

So now, when it was clear and bright, he gladly spent it outside, doing all the work he had foregone before. Chopping firewood had always been one of his favourite tasks, so it wasn't long that he started humming in joy, and then he started singing in earnest while he worked.

"Mitä itket pieni lintu,

Lintu tuima tuikuttelet,

Pahalla pajupurolla,

Tiheällä tuomikolla?"

After he had chopped enough firewood and stacked the rest in his little shed, he knelt down to pick some of the braches in his arms. Arms full of firewood, he rose up and turned towards his cottage. What he saw then made him jump in surprise and drop his burden.

He had been so absorbed in his work that he hadn't heard a thing: Sweden stood on the muddy yard, between him and his cottage. It was eerily similar situation to their first meeting, and Finland couldn't help but wonder how a tall and gangly boy like Sweden possibly could move so quietly in his battle gear.

"Ya got a nice voice" Sweden said as a greeting.

"T-thank you" Finland managed to stammer in response.

Sweden looked just as big and scary in the broad day light as he had looked in the dusk. But his stance was relaxed, his hands were no where near his sword, and unlike the last time now Finland had the upper hand.

Finland knew every nook and granny of his yard and the area surrounding it: if Sweden tried anything, he would simply flee and maybe even make his way to the near bog. Finland knew a safe way to pass it, but a stranger would surely sink into the bog if he tried to follow.

So after the initial surprise, Finland didn't feel nearly as afraid as he had the last time they had met, on the contrary even. He was actually curious why Sweden was here.

"Does it mean something?" Sweden asked.

"What?" Finland asked back, completely baffled.

"Yer song. Was nice" Sweden mumbled, turning a bit red in the face.

Finland couldn't believe his eyes. Was the other nation _blushing_? He opened his mouth to answer, but no sound came out, so surprised he was at the tall land's reaction.

"Umm, yes, but it's just a silly old song. About a sad little bird, nothing fancy or anything" Finland at last managed to get out.

Sweden nodded. Then he pointed at the firewood still lying tumbled at Finland's feet where the smaller land had dropped them.

"Ya gonna take them inside?"

"Umm, yes" Finland said and reached down to pick the firewood again. He balanced the heavy load on his arms and started to walk back to his hut.

"Ya need help?"

"No, I got this!"

When Finland reached his porch, he just dumped his load next to the door of his home. It would be easy task to move the firewood inside after Sweden had left, but right now he wasn't about to willingly walk into a dead-end. Even though Sweden had been nothing but polite, it was still very much a common sense to remain wary.

Sweden had followed him, and the tall land was curiously peeking inside to Finland's hut from the open door. Finland used this curiosity to his advantage and subtly backed out a few paces away from the other land.

"Why are you here, Sve?" Finland demanded.

Sweden turned his gaze back at Finland. A bit of surprise had crept into the depths of his icy sea-coloured eyes.

"Sve?"

"Umm, well, yes" Finland started, now nervous again. "It's your name, isn't it? I mean without the 'land' part of course, but that's a bit redundant, right? I know you're a land, after all"

Sweden didn't answer. He just looked back at Finland, his face just as unreadable as ever.

"But if you don't like it, I won't use it. I'll just say the whole name, even if I don't really use – "

"I don't mind. Ya can call me 'Sve' if ya like" Sweden interrupted Finland's nervous babbling.

Finland shut his mouth and nodded. A silence descended upon them yet again. Finland was sifting through his brain in search of something – anything – to say, but the search came up empty. It annoyed Finland that Sweden just stood there like he had no care in the world, like these awkward pauses had no hold of the tall land. Sweden looked at Finland long and evenly, with an intensity that made Finland sweat nervously.

After a while – A very long while for Finland – Sweden spoke: "I've something for ya." He reached inside his coat, and despite himself, Finland felt himself stiffen in anticipation, his hand twitching for his knife.

But the object which Sweden pulled out from his pocket wasn't a weapon, but a beautiful bronze clasp. He stretched out his hand, offering the ornate clasp to Finland.

"For ya" He repeated when it became apparent that Finland wasn't about to take the item.

Finland wanted to say that the other land could keep his trinkets, since he knew that they rarely came without some hidden agenda. But the clasp was so _shiny_ and so different from what he had previously seen. It was truly a work of art.

And Sweden had been nice enough, he hadn't tried to hurt him or anything, so would it be the worst thing just once to quiet the warning bells in his head, and just go for it? Finland took a step, and then another until he came close to Sweden, and then he snatched the clasp out of Sweden's open palm.

The bronze clasp was big in Finland's hands. It was round, and polished so glossy Finland could see his own reflection on its shiny surface.

_He might not be really big on talking, but he still seems nice_, Finland thought.

As Finland admired his new object of value, he missed the genuine smile on Sweden's face.

Sweden didn't stay for long after giving out the gift. His stay perhaps wasn't very lengthy, but it was only the first of many to follow. From that day onward Sweden visited Finland both before and after his yearly ventures into the lands in the east.

And every time he returned from his travels, he brought something back to Finland: a new knife, glass beads, bronze and silver buckles and claps, and so on. And in time, Finland stopped dreading Sweden's unexpected visits, and started look forward to them.

* * *

Ingria, Tavastia and Karelia had come to visit Finland just before the sea would freeze. For some reason, Estonia, Livonia and Vepsia hadn't come at all this year.

But Finland didn't exactly mind – even if he was a bit worried for the others, he also was glad he could spend some time with his brother and the girls he was so close with he might as well consider them to be his sisters. He enjoyed listening their chatter and sometimes childish and silly arguments.

They sat on rocks by the sea, trying to catch fish with a hook and line. The air was crisp and clear, if a bit chilly. They had been dragged here by Karelia, who had claimed to be tired of eating cold smoked salmon or pickled herring, and had demanded that they would spend the day trying to catch some fresh food for a change.

Finland hadn't minded. He liked fishing, after all.

"…And then Vepsä turned like really, really red. Like a beetroot! I thought he was going to pass out!" Ingria finished her story and cackled like a witch. Finland couldn't help but burst out laughing. He hadn't been really listening of the story, but Ingria's shrill laughter always amused him. It was unbelievably odd to hear such a noise come out of such a sweet looking little girl.

"Where's Vepsä, by the way?" asked Tavastia.

"I don't know" Karelia replied. "He had to meet someone."

"Wait a minute? Vepsä? Had to meet someone? Are talking about the same person? Short and pudgy, unable to speak, likes to be alone more than anything, _that_ Vepsä had to meet someone? Someone who's not one of you two?" Tavastia almost yelled in surprise, pointing at Ingria and Karelia.

"Häme, don't be nasty" Finland said to Tavastia, but secretly he was just as astonished as his brother.

"I really don't know" Karelia said, sounding a bit frustrated. "He didn't tell me much more. I think he went to see the new land he had been telling me about… but other than that, I don't know more than you do."

"A new land?" Finland asked. "Where?"

"Oh I know!" Ingria piped up, enthusiast that she could contribute something to the conversation. "He told me there's a strange child in the wilds southeast of him. Like really strange! He told me it was way too young to be on its own, but still it was… and that it had purple eyes – little like yours, Suomi, but lighter!"

They were silent for a while, pondering about what had been said.

"How old? Younger than you, Inkeri?" Finland asked.

"Of course it's younger! Toddler or something! _I'm_ not a little child!" Ingria screamed and turned away from the others to sulk. It was a sore spot to Ingria that she was youngest one in their family. Most of them were preadolescent, with the exception of Livonia, who was a bit older. But Ingria was considerably younger, and it clearly bothered the girl.

"I'm sorry, Inkeri, I didn't mean – "

"Don't bother, she throws a tantrum like that every other day or so" Karelia said rolling her eyes, interrupting Finland's apology. "But about that new land, now that I think about it, I remember Vepsä mentioning that he met it in the same area where those western lands always travel to."

"Western lands? Sve?"

"Yes, that's right! One of them is called Svealand!"

"Svealand? You mean Ruotsi, right?" Tavastia interrupted grumpily. "Speak properly, not that weird mumbling some people insist is a language."

If age was a bit sore subject to Ingria, Sweden definitely was so for Tavastia. Tavastia had met him only recently, and the other land had first mistaken Tavastia for Finland. Sweden had very soon realised that despite their similar appearance, Tavastia and Finland could have not been more different if they tried.

During their first meeting, Sweden had started calling Finland's brother by a new name: 'Tav Aest', instead of his original name Häme. At first, Tavastia had been proud of his new nick name. But when he had told about it to Estonia and Finland, the former had burst out laughing and even the latter had nearly done so.

Finland and Estonia had had much more contact with the Swedes, and both had learned a bit of Old Norse. So when Finland had translated the name Sweden had given to his brother as 'Stupid Estonian', Tavastia had turned both white and red almost in the same time. Then his expression had turned so enraged even Estonia had not dared to laugh.

From that moment, Tavastia had hated Sweden with all his heart. It didn't help at all that Sweden had continued to call him Tavast instead of Häme.

"So the big twerp travelled to the same area? You think he met some nice local – a bear or something – and _poof_!" Tavastia said and did a ridiculous gesture with his free hand. "Out comes a new land?"

"You mean you think Sve… I mean Ruotsi is the _father_ of that child?" Finland said in outrage.

"No, don't be ridiculous, Suomi!" Karelia interrupted. "And Häme, stop being a moron. You know it doesn't work like that!"

Tavastia burst out in laughter. Between the bouts of laughter he managed to make out: "You… never… know!" And then he almost lost his balance on the slippery rock, but even then that only made him laugh harder.

Karelia also started laughing, but she laughed more at Tavastia's lost footing than at his jokes. Even Ingria giggled little before she remembered she was supposed to be sulking.

Finland on the other hand was not amused. He forced out a couple chuckles so the others wouldn't figure out what was wrong, but something so clearly was… Even if he himself didn't know exactly what it was. Why had he felt so sad and horrified at the mere assumption that Sweden might have children somewhere in the east?

They had become friends somewhere along the line, yes, but their relationship was still very awkward and shy. Sweden rarely spoke, and Finland was often nervously trying to work out something they could do or talk about. Sweden often seemed to be content just staring at him, and that made Finland utterly uncomfortable.

So why was he thinking so hard about this when should have been enjoying the rare treat of the company of his family? With some effort Finland pushed the thoughts about Sweden out of his mind, and tuned in yet again to listen of the chitchat of Karelia and Tavastia.

* * *

A.N. I nicked the song from "Kanteletar", so it's a real ancient rune song, but not really relevant to the plot. In my head-canon Sweden was worse at mumbling when he was younger, so I tried to write "Sve-speak" which I'll slowly fade out in later chapters. Also, the first mention of Russia!

So, tell me what you think! Criticism is welcome, as always!


	5. Chapter 4 - Something Wicked This Way Co

Chapter Four – Something Wicked This Way Comes

Suddenly everything had changed. Life hadn't ever been easy in the north, but now, now everything was changing so rapidly it was sometimes difficult to keep track of it. Estonia did not honestly know if things now were better or worse – they were just different.

_Life used to be like a calm pool in the forest_ – _but now it's a rapid current, _he thought. And the people and lands were swept along by that current of change, unable to fight it, not knowing were it was taking them… All were just wishing with all their might that the ride didn't end with a fall.

Not that all the lands by the Baltic Sea were exactly unwelcoming towards the swift changes in the area, no. Even Estonia felt curious, despite the small but constant worry he carried with him in his heart.

The last decades – centuries even – had been good for Estonia's people. They had not only grown rich from trade, but also the various tribes of the land had united in a way that made Estonia feel like he was invincible. If losing a town to famine or raids felt like someone had cut away a little –but still important – part off of him, then gaining land and people was exactly opposite: it was like he suddenly had more strength and could see and hear and even feel better.

His people stopped being just Vironians, Oeselians or Ungannians, and slowly but surely became to think themselves as united people, although it didn't stop all the conflicts between the tribes. Scandinavians had called Estonia 'Eistland' for so long that even he had grown accustomed to the name, and in his mind, this name became more important to him than Virumaa.

For the first time in his life, he had felt _powerful_. And so had his people. After centuries of having to deal with raids from various lands and tribes from the west, he had finally grown powerful enough to return the favour. And return the favour he certainly had done. With great fervour.

Tavastia and Livonia had _begged_ Estonia that they should be allowed to get into the act, but in vain. In the case of Livonia, it had been a pure pleasure for Estonia to turn down pleads from the obnoxious and haughty land. Oh what it must have taken from Livonia, to actually beg… And only to be rejected by the 'little brother'… A mere thought of the event still made Estonia's spine tingle pleasantly.

But with Tavastia, the reason for refusal had been more complicated. For a while now, Sweden had been visiting Finland. Estonia didn't quite understand why, but Finland didn't seem to mind it at all. Sweden had started to talk about some new god from the south, who would save their immortal souls. Estonia didn't know why exactly they needed saving, especially when they already were immortal. But Finland had started to listen. Maybe he was just humouring Sweden, but he was still listening.

But the worst thing was how Sweden acted around Finland. Estonia had seen it with his own eyes: Sweden stared at Finland all the time, and it was _creepy_. Not to mention how it clearly made Finland ill-at-ease.

But Estonia knew his best friend was surprisingly strong and more than capable of defending himself. For some reason, Finland really seemed to like Sweden, despite the awkwardness and creepiness of the taller land. Estonia didn't really get it, nor did he like it, but in the end, there was little he could do.

So when Tavastia had approached him about revenge against Sweden, a tiny part of him had almost agreed – maybe Sweden would left Finland alone if both of them would attack the tall land. But in the end, the rational side had won, like it always did. Finland would hardly thank Estonia for encouraging Tavastia's unhealthy hatred of Sweden, nor would he appreciate Estonia's meddling into affairs not concerning him at all. So, in the end Estonia had declined Tavastia's offer, and then rejected his pleads.

Estonia had made his raids against Sweden alone, without any help from his family or other lands, and they had been _glorious_. A bit biased but still oh so accurate description. He had felt like he was on the top of the world, like he was invincible, like he could do _anything_ and achieve _everything_…

And that was when the Russians had attacked.

* * *

The journey back from Sweden had been fast and uneventful. Men were in high spirits after a successful and abundant raid. Estonia was more than content, even though now and then he felt a twinge of pain between his ribs, worrying him a bit… Was it some sort of a plague, or had frost taken the crops? In the end, there was nothing he could do, so he forced himself to push these thoughts aside.

It wasn't until they finally reached the home shore that it became apparent what exactly had been wrong. Everything had been scorched and pillaged. The village was still slightly smoking, though the devastation looked to be at least a day or two old. Estonia watched on as his brave men wandered among the ashes looking like lost little boys hugging their toys… Those toys – their plundered riches – were now everything they owned.

A despairing scream broke the unnatural silence. Estonia was startled out of his stupor, and he ran towards the sound. What he saw then made him feel lucky that he had skipped breakfast – even as it was it was hard to keep it down.

A young man was kneeling on the ground hugging a pile of rags and ashes. No, not rags, but in fact a very badly burnt body. Estonia turned away, feeling sick. Even then he could hear the utterly heart breaking cry of the young man.

Later Estonia would consider that exact moment to be the one that would change the way he looked at the world.

It didn't take long before the men had turned their backs to the smouldering ruins of their lost homes and started to track down the enemies responsible for the devastation of their village. Revenge was all they now had.

Estonia – feeling very weary and heavy at heart – followed, not really knowing what else to do.

It took them only a day and a half to catch the Novgorodians. The enemy had had a head start, sure, but Estonia's people were fuelled by the grief and promise of revenge, both very powerful incentives. The Novgorodians had already camped in for the night, and they were clearly in festive spirits.

Estonia quickly scanned their camp, and to his – and his men – relief, most of the women and children were still alive, taken as slaves. Most of the Novgorodians were already drunk, singing and shouting happily like they had no care in the world. And after the quick attack by the Estonians, they truly had none no longer.

Estonia sat perched on a small hill looking on at the carnage. The Novgorodians were completely surprised and easily defeated. Estonia's people gave them no mercy.

Estonia was of course glad some of the villagers had managed to escape death, but as he looked upon this… slaughter, he couldn't help but feel a bit dead inside. Had they not themselves celebrated a similar victory as those Novgorians had, just a few days ago? They had not celebrated over a successful raid? Celebrated over wailing widows, over death of the innocents… For what? Power and prestige? Honour? Or for few shiny trinkets?

Estonia felt sick. Previous daydream of glory had turned into a nightmare filled with gore.

"You're no fun" said a small voice.

Estonia gasped. He had thought he was alone here, well away from the camp which had turned into a war zone. He turned around only to gasp again from surprise.

A young child stood there, wrapped in thick animal pelts that made him look like a short and round furry ball.

"You're no fun, and I won't play with you again" the little boy exclaimed.

"Who are you?" Estonia asked, his eyes still wide as plates.

The little boy frowned.

"I'm Novgorod. Haven't you heard of me? Of course you have, you don't just remember" little boy said.

Estonia couldn't help but stare. Yes, of course he had heard of Novgorod in Venemaa, or Russland, like the western lands called him. In fact the child had been number one subject on the rare occasion his family had lately managed to get together.

"Why are you staring? Stop!" Novgorod said with the authority of a spoiled brat, a one which clearly had been accustomed of getting his way no matter what.

"Sorry" Estonia muttered, but didn't avert his eyes. He was bewitched. What was wrong with this land? His people had been just been slaughtered, but the child was completely unfazed. He should have been withering from pain of loosing so many of his own so quickly and unexpectedly. In fact he was acting quite the opposite – the child was calmly chatting up an enemy like it was nothing! Didn't he realise the danger he was in?

"You don't like to talk, do you? None of you Chuds do… "

"Chuds?"

"Da. Your kind. The people with white eyes and hair. You're quiet and beautiful. I like that."

The young child fell silent and looked at the bloody camp. The fight was well over by then, and his people were dead. But this didn't seem to bother Novgorod, for he had eyes only for the women and children who were now released.

"I want them. I had them, they were mine. The first time they didn't kill themselves, and you ruined it. You're no fun at all."

Estonia had no idea what the child was talking about, but it still managed to terrify him.

"The _first_ time?" He asked, dreading the answer.

"Da" Novgorod said, and turned to look at Estonia. "Chuds are difficult. Very often they drown themselves when they lose the fight. Walk into a lake and never come up. Not only women and children, but lands also. It's not fair at all! If I win they should become one with me, not walk into a lake!"

'Lands' was all Estonia heard before his heart started pounding like mad and blood gushed in his veins. His stomach felt like it was forcing its way up, and he only barely managed to keep it down.

"Who?" He croaked. His hands were shaking, his legs felt like they were made of rubber… Yet he had to contain himself with all his might so wouldn't jump at the other land and finish the slaughter his people had started.

"A Chud" The child said shrugging his shoulders. "Curly yellow hair. Soft. Or looked soft. I didn't know he had it in him."

_Vepsä_, Estonia thought. In a one massive surge of feelings he felt both depressed and awful about Vepsia's fate, and rage for Novgorod for being so _nonchalant_ about something that was absolutely _horrifying_. In the back of his mind he also felt a bit relieved it had been Vepsia – and in turn felt completely wretched thinking like that.

Novgorod watched Estonia's inner struggle with an even gaze and a calm demeanour, his expression not betraying even an ounce of remorse.

_There's something seriously wrong with this child_, Estonia thought. The child was very young, only roughly as big as five year old human. But there was nothing child-like about his behaviour, or his blank dead-eyed stare. And the eyes… Estonia realised they were the same colour as the warm pair so dear to him…

_But this child isn't Finland_, Estonia admonished himself. His hands were shaking. Novgorod had already killed Vepsia, or at least caused his death – did he have the luxury to let this little monster in the making leave in peace?

But the child looked back at him, calmly and evenly as ever, like he didn't fear death, like he didn't know how to fear at all… And Estonia knew he couldn't make himself struck down the little land – not when the other was simply so broken, like Novgorod hadn't yet grown old enough to distinguish right from wrong.

"Go!" Estonia yelled in a hoarse, barely controlled voice that managed to shock even himself. "Run home, and never come back! Or I swear to gods you'll meet the same destiny as your men did!"

And without any words, Novgorod ran. Just tiniest bit of surprise had entered in the depths of those dark eyes before the tiny land had quickly gathered his loose garb in his arms and disappeared into the thick pine tree forest.

Estonia shuddered. Rage gave way to sorrow. Vepsia was dead. He hadn't even known lands could die, and Vepsia had been so young…

_As young as me_, Estonia thought. And for the first time he realised he wasn't immortal. Someday he would die, as would Finland, Ingria, Karelia …even that jerk Livonia.

Livonia! Only few months ago all that had filled Estonia's thought had been how to become stronger and more powerful than his brother, no matter what, no matter the cost. Now Estonia realised there wasn't much they could do alone, squeezed as they were between greater powers in the Baltic Sea… But together – together they would be more than a match.

It was time to bury the hatched with his brother.

* * *

Finland was returning home with his men. They had been fighting Novgorod with Tavastia, as they had for a while now. Finland was tired and sore. His men had been defeated, and they had barely managed to escape with their lives. Tavastia and his men had already parted ways, as they made their way towards the north and Finland and his people sailed west along the shore of the gulf.

The wars had gone on for years now, decades even, and the fates had finally decide to rule in favour of the Novgorodians. At the beginning Novgorod had been outnumbered, waging war with four Finnic tribes: Karelia, Ingria, Tavastia and Finland. They had easily driven Russians off their lands and then they had counterattacked. Novgorod hadn't stood a change.

The attack had been brutal. Vepsia's fate had driven them to fight harder – especially Karelia who at first hadn't even wanted to believe Vepsia could be dead at all, since so many of his people still remained. But after years she too had to accept the truth – Vepsia was gone.

But easy victory had made them cocky – only a few years later Novgorod had changed his battle plans, now only targeting Karelia. It had taken only few weeks for her to lose the fight. When the others had come to her aid, it had already been too late – she was now forced to fight for Novgorod, against her kin.

Ingria had been next.

And in the end, Finland and Tavastia weren't powerful enough for Novgorod who now was aided by both Karelia and Ingria. Finland and Tavastia had launched the last big battle against the Russians, but in vain. They had been defeated, and all that what left to do was to limp back home in shame. And wait and prepare for retribution.

Novgorod would not be let this be – this defeat had told him everything about the military might of remaining independent Finnish tribes. Not only had they been weak in battle, but their big attack against Novgorod had vexed them too thin – they were now ripe to pick, and Novgorod knew it.

Their only change was now to prepare for invasion as well as they could, and hope that the Swedes would plan to attack their common enemy soon. Swedes and Finns weren't in any formal alliance, but they both fought Novgorod who had been aggressively expanding for decades.

Finland's thoughts were interrupted as the boat hit the shore. The men dragged boats ashore, and started readying camp for the night. Finland didn't understand why. They were close to their village already; they could get home for night if they continued their journey. The sun had not yet set, and it wouldn't for some time as it was late summer. Perhaps the men weren't ready to face their loved ones after such a loss…

But Finland wanted nothing more than to sleep in his own bed. He bid his farewells and started his trek home.

It took him three hours until he was limping up the familiar hill. The journey had taken more out of him than he thought – if it had been any longer he wouldn't have made it back. His sigh of relief when he at last saw his hut quickly turned into a slight panic – the door was open and a lit lantern was lighting the porch in the dimming evening.

Finland grabbed his trusty bow from his back and an arrow from a vine in haste, and made sure his knife could be easily whipped out, if needed.

"Who's there?" He yelled, and immediately cursed in his mind. His voice had cracked mid-sentence.

But again his panic quickly gave way for relief when Sweden stepped out of his cottage.

"Oh, it's you" he sighed and put the arrow he was holding back to a vine. He hobbled towards the hut using the bow as support.

"What happened?" Sweden asked. He looked serious as always, but frowned when he watched Finland climb the few steps on the porch with laboured breath.

"Novgorodians won. But I'm fine, just a couple of scratches and bruises" Finland answered dismissively. He lifted the backpack off of his shoulders and put down on the porch next to his bow which he had placed to lean against the nearest wall. All he could think of was his bed, just a few steps away inside the cottage.

Sweden was standing next to the open door. When Finland moved to step inside the house past him, the taller boy stepped on his way, blocking the entrance. This clearly startled Finland, and he raised his gaze to meet the eyes of the other land. Sweden looked back, calmly.

"What are doing, Sve?"

"Yer leg. What happened?"

"Like I said, we lost. I must've twisted it while running away and didn't even notice. It got worse when I walked home" Finland answered truthfully. All he cared about was getting past Sweden so he could get some _rest_ already.

"Ya walked home?"

"Well, no, of course not. I walked from the camp. It's quite near my cottage and I just wanted to get home… Now would you let me inside?"

"Yer people are still away?"

"Yes, Sve, that's what I said! Now, would you please let me inside?!" Finland raised his voice, almost completely losing his temper.

But to his complete shock, Sweden crabbed him under his shoulders, and his knees, and lifted him from the ground.

"What are you…? Let me down, now!"

But Sweden didn't answer, nor let him down, but carried him over the threshold like one would a bride. Finland didn't dare to struggle, lest they both topple over. He was bruised enough, thank you very much.

Thankfully Sweden carried him just to the bed, and gently laid him down. For Finland, the whole ordeal was quite humiliating. He couldn't meet the eyes of the other boy.

"Uum" he started, and cleared his throat. "Thanks, I suppose. I'll just go to sleep now –"

"No" Sweden interrupted. His voice was stern and hard. "Now we talk."

"Talk? About what? Sve, I'm _tired_. I just lost a war, and now I want to sleep, I don't want to _talk_ –"

"Fine. I talk. You listen."

Finland shut his mouth with a snap. Well this was new. Usually he did all the talking, while Sweden was content just glaring and grunting.

Sweden fetched a little chair and put it beside the bed, and then sat on it.

"Yer war with Tavast and Novgorod is over. He's gonna attack you, soon."

Finland shut his eyes and leaned back into the bedding. This is what Sweden wanted to talk about? Odds and probabilities? Of course Novgorod would attack, sooner or later.

"It won't be so soon, we did make some damage to him. I'd guess next spring. I'll have time to prepare."

But Sweden shook his head. His face was earnest and worried.

"No, he'll make it soon, maybe just before frost. You have weeks, not months."

"Then weeks it is. I'll manage" Finland quipped. He was slowly loosing his patience.

But Sweden was having none of his assurances. He shook his head again.

"He'll kill yer people, or take them as slaves. He doesn't play nice or fair. You'll get killed."

Finland turned his head so he could look into Sweden's eyes. They were honest and sad. Sweden truly believed he would end up dead. Great, what a boost for the confidence.

"You don't know that. I'm stronger than I look, and I'll do my best, right? It'll be fine –"

"I'll protect you, if you'll become m'vassal" Sweden interrupted him.

A silence descended upon them, only to be broken by the fire cracking in the blazing hearth. Finland couldn't believe what he had just heard. So all this fake concern only for so he would run into the arms of Sweden? When all he had done earlier was to escape that very same fate from Novgorod.

Finland rose to sit on his bed. He pointed at the door, and whispered: "Get out."

But Sweden didn't budge. He clearly had no intention of leaving. So Finland did the only thing he really could do in that situation. He pulled the knife from its sheath and pointed at Sweden.

"You've seen me use this before. Get out, or I'll make you."

"No. Yer hurt. Tired. Can't make me."

"Fine! Get out, or I'll swear to gods old and new that I'll stick this into your neck!" Finland yelled.

"Lands don't die like that. I've died before. It hurts, then it doesn't. You wake up groggy and hurting, but you wake up."

"But" Sweden said when Finland was just about to tell him what exactly he felt about this lecture from the normally very silent man. "Yer people won't."

"What?"

"Yer people. I've got them surrounded with m'army. If I don't return tonight, they'll burn down the fortifications on the hill fort."

"What?" Finland repeated, completely horrified.

"You can become m'vassal, and yer people are saved, and I'll protect you. Or you can say no, and yer people burn" Sweden said with even, composed tone, like he was talking about something trivial, not about the lives of a hundred people.

"What – How… You… Why are you doing this? I thought… I thought we were friends" Finland whispered. His voice was filled with shock and bewilderment.

Sweden looked at him, his face an expressionless mask void of any emotion. But his eyes were sad.

"I'll save you. From others. From yerself."

Finland shook his head. He didn't need saving! Well, maybe saving from Sweden, yes, but other than that, hell no! But he had been forced into a corner, and there were nowhere to go. His men were still hours away, and he had no means of reaching them. Sweden might be bluffing about torching his remaining villagers, but that wasn't a risk he was willing to take.

And even if his warriors could be reached, they were still in no fighting condition, bloodied and battered as they were. He had just walked from lost battle to utter defeat.

"I'll become your vassal" Finland whispered, barely audibly. But Sweden seemed to hear just fine, for he smiled. Finland instantly hated that smile.

"Ya can rest now" Sweden said, and very quickly left.

Now Finland was alone, and just as tired as he had been few minutes ago, but sleep was the last thing in his mind. He thought how he had trusted Sweden, and how that trust had been spit back at his face. He had dreaded the fate that had fallen upon Ingria and Karelia when they had become subjects of Novgorod's rule, and now he was in no better situation.

Novgorod had made the girls fight against family without a thought for their feelings for the matter. And even though he tried his best to just fall asleep to escape from this real nightmare for a few hours, he couldn't. He lay on his bed thinking what his life would be like from now on.

* * *

It didn't take long for Sweden to conquer the hill fort, the ancient sanctuary of Finland's people. There was some fighting on the slopes of the fortification, but as soon as the men defeated by the Novgorodians returned home and saw what had befallen upon their village, both the warriors and the villagers quickly surrendered. It was clear resisting now would only lead to unnecessary blood-shed.

But Sweden kept his word. As Finns plead loyalty to Swedes, they did receive the protection Sweden had promised. When Novgorod attacked only few weeks later, they were completely outnumbered by Finns and Swedes, and easily driven home.

But for Finland it was somewhat hollow consolation. Granted, his every day life hadn't changed much. He still lived in his little cottage in the middle of the woods, and he still was free to come and go as he pleased. But when in next spring Sweden called him to another war against Novgorod, he had no other choice but to say 'yes'.

* * *

A.N. So now we've gotten somewhere around 11th and 12th centuries. Estonia always seemed a bit pacifist to me, so this chapter is his big realisation: "hey maybe pillaging and all that isn't right after all..." And Estonia didn't really have its own name until 19th century. The people called themselves "maarahvas" (could be translated as 'folk of the land')

And the death of Vepsia. Since Vepsian culture isn't dead (there's few thousand vepsian speakers left), I'd like to think he actually woke up after his drowning and thought it was better for his people to think he was dead. So he went and lived as a hermit in the Russian woods :D

Info about 'Chuds' is from Wikipedia.

Thank you for all the reviews! One guest asked me who Finland was if Tavastia and Karelia were separate entities. Well, he of course is Finland Proper (Varsinais-Suomi, Egentliga Finland), the area which later gave its name to the whole country (hence the modern name "Finland Proper", instead of just original "Finland"). Originally only those people were called Finns.

Need more info? Check

Finland Proper

Finnish–Novgorodian wars

Oeselians

from Wikipedia


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